Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Queerlicue #7

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo
1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

De Staat. They're Dutch alternative rockers who make cool, vigorous music...

De Staat
... and memorable, quirky videos -- like this one for "Witch Doctor." It appears to be inspired by the whirling/spinning dance meditation of Sufism, the mystical Islamic belief system. And it's rather amazing. (I will not, however, attempt to make sense of the lyrics.)



Well-Strung. This NYC-based string quartet has considerable fun fusing classical and pop music.

Well-Strung, left to right:
Edmund Bagnell, Christopher Marchant, Trevor Wadleigh & Daniel Shevlin
They've fiddled around with everything from Kelly Clarkson to Frozen's "Let It Go," but surely no one was expecting them to reach all the way back to 1979 for "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" -- a country crossover hit recorded by The Charlie Daniels Band. Since it's release, Mr. Daniels has become more infamous for his racist and homophobic rants than his music, so it's a kick to see an all-gay band make a mashup of his song and Bach's "Double Violin Concerto."



You can find Well-Strung's music on iTunes, Amazon and CD Baby.


Hard Ton. The Italian duo of DJ Wawashi and Max create some damn fine acid house disco.

Hard Ton: DJ Wawashi (left) and Max
Real names: Mauro Copeta and Massimo Bastasi
Great music would be enough, but these guys also enjoy making amusingly arty, over-the-top videos that feature plus-sized Max in all his uninhibited glory. And makeup. And costumes. Example: "Make Me Dance." What the guys had to say about it: "For this new video we wanted to add disturbing and obsessive elements to a hyper-candy-pop imaginary world, in order to create an acid hallucination, halfway between Mark Ryden's paintings and Alejandro Jodorowsky's celluloid visions, so that the hysterical mood of the track could be emphasized as much as possible."



Most of Hard Ton's music is available on iTunes. The rest of their videos are on their YouTube channel, here. And I'll just let Max have the final word:


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Divas vs. Queers

What happens when queer musicians dare to cover songs made famous by divas?

Adele. The Londoner has six Grammys and an Oscar (for the Bond theme "Skyfall"). Her sophomore album, 21, broke the record for the longest run at number 1 by a female artist in Billboard chart history -- she topped Whitney Houston's The Bodyguard soundtrack from 1992. She breaks records, she's popular, she's critically-acclaimed and she doesn't give a fuck what you think about her weight. Quite a diverse assortment of artists have publicly admired her, too -- from Madonna, Patti LaBelle and Stevie Nicks (A duet, please!) to Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl and Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash.  

Adele
There's an argument to be made that the singer's biggest hit, "Someone Like You," is a future standard. It's just piano, voice and perfectly modulated woefulness. If you're not one of the half a billion people who've already watched the video on YouTube, have a look...


"Someone Like You" is the kind of song that's destined to be covered. It will be over-orchestrated and over-sung for decades to come. Occasionally someone will get it right, like Paul Middleton, a cubby ginger Londoner who channels the melancholy with restraint and dances with his own stoicism. It's a remarkably good fit for this newcomer. Have a look/listen...



Find out more about Paul on his website. Check out his YouTube page. His music is available on his website, iTunes and CD Baby. And here are a few photos of handsome Mr. Middleton...



Paul Middleton (photo via Facebook)

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Queerlicue #6

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

Teletubbies Meet Die Antwoord. Las Vegas-based video editor Robert Jones makes mashup videos that are inventive and occasionally demented. He's taken the Teletubbies -- beloved by toddlers everywhere -- and put them together with South African rap-ravers Die Antwoord, a duo that's known for it's vaguely creepy lyrics and (sometimes deeply) unsettling videos. There's something admirably off and compelling about them.
Die Antwoord: Ninja (left) and Yolandi Visser
Now watch how Jones edits the Teletubbies to make it appear as if they're responsible for "I Fink U Freeky," Die Antwoord's 2012 hit. It's an insanely good match.


If you want to see Die Antwoord's original video for "I Fink U Freeky," go here. It's super-stylized and super creepy. Like rats and snakes and scary teeth creepy. And not safe for work. I warned you. Or you can check out the rest of Robert Jones' video mashups on his YouTube channel.


Levonia Jenkins. That's the drag persona created by Greg Scarnici, a NYC-based comedic artist, musician and author (I Hope My Mother Doesn't Read This). This is Greg...

Greg Scarnici
And this is Levonia Jenkins...


Scarnici's transformation into Levonia Jenkins is a smartly executed masculine/feminine mashup of kitschy glamour and good humor. And he's written a terrific little workplace anthem entitled "Werk and Serve and Face."


There's more from Greg (and Levonia) on his YouTube channel.


DaddyB. This Madrid-based fella describes himself as a "big, hairy, out, gay bear dance and pop artist."

DaddyB. Yeah, I could gnaw on that for a while.
His first single simultaneously educates anyone unfamiliar with the gay bear subculture and functions as a personal ad. DaddyB proudly proclaims, "I want a bear," to a retro '90s house beat. And mercifully, he has a sense of humor about his desire, because a straightforward take on this subject could have been deadly. Director Alvaro Pastor brings the right amount of whimsical exaggeration to the video, which also features irresistibly goofy choreography by DaddyB -- who's flanked by a pair of sexy bearded cubs. Warning: There's some explicit language and provocative devouring of Cornish game hens.



Want more Queerlicue? Follow the links for volumes #1, #2, #3, #4 and #5.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Divas vs. Queers

What happens when queer musicians dare to cover songs made famous by divas?

If you're not familiar with the infectious, effervescent music of '70s Swedish supergroup ABBA, then I'm going to assume you just arrived here from another planet. Welcome, visitor! ABBA consisted of two men and two women -- Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha and Frida -- but the ladies contributed lead vocals to almost every one of their hits.

Anni-Frid "Frida" Lyngstad & Agnetha Faltskog
My favorite ABBA song is "S.O.S." I'm not alone in my admiration: Pete Townsend, The Who guitarist, has said it's one of the best pop songs ever written, and John Lennon declared it a favorite, too. The arrangement is pure genius, beginning with a subdued D-minor key, shifting tempo and easing into major key electric rock. There's the right amount of emotional nuance in Agnetha's lead vocal; Frida's voice augments the chorus perfectly. ABBA was also at the forefront of the music video revolution. Watch their charming, low-budget little masterpiece...



Now, The Young Professionals, a popular Israeli electro pop band fronted by Johnny Goldstein and Ivri Lider, have reimagined "S.O.S." in an energetically alternative way.

The Young Professionals: Ivri Lider (left) & Johnny Goldstein
The assertive guitar work and drumming neatly amplifies the original's rock inclinations. Lider's vocal work is free of histrionics, but there's a hint of vulnerability around the edges. Watch and listen...



You can find this version of "S.O.S." on their latest -- and excellent -- album, Remixes & Covers.

For the record, the absolute worst version of "S.O.S" can be found in the film version of Mamma Mia. It's staged as a kind of clunky duet between Meryl Streep, who can sing, and Pierce Brosnan, who cannot. Brosnan's performance of the song is not simply lamentable, it's abominable and excruciating. It is, in fact, one of the worst things ever. Let me help you understand how bad it is:

The Top 5 Worst Things Ever, ranked...
1. The Holocaust
2. What we did to Native Americans and African Americans
3. Bubonic Plague -- "The Black Death" of the 14th Century
4. 9/11
5. Pierce Brosnan mangling "S.O.S." in the film version of Mamma Mia

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Queerlicue #5

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

Galantis. Among the many things I am grateful for in this life, Swedish pop music is right up there in the Top Ten. I can listen to ABBA or Robyn anytime. I'm currently crushing hard on Galantis,  two electronic dance music masters -- Christian "Bloodshy" Karlsson and Linus "Style of Eye" Eklow -- that united to produce an album together. The result, Pharmacy, is a throbbing, energetic breakout hit. For more, their website is here.

Galantis: Christian Karlsson (left) & Linus Eklow
If you're going to record an unapologetically nonsensical retro-disco song like "Peanut Butter Jelly," you better give it an amazing video. Like this:




DJ Rozroz. According to the description on his YouTube channel, he's a "filmmaker, editor, musician currently concentrating on making mashups to ease the late night blues." In other words, he takes two wildly disparate songs and turns them into one. He's done it over 90 times since 2013. My favorite? His mashup of Michael Jackson's "Bad" with "Mr. Sandman," the enduring tune recorded by The Chordettes in 1954.

The Chordettes, one of the most popular all-female vocal groups of the 1950s and early '60s
The mashup -- "Mr. Bad Sandman" -- is brilliant on it's own, but the accompanying video is equally sublime.  


You can listen to all the DJ Rozroz mashups here.


Traffic Signs & Jake the Rapper. They're actually German electronic producer Steve Bug and Bronx-born-but-Berlin-based rapper Jacob Dove Basker.

Jacob Dove Basker AKA Jake the Rapper
Collaborating for the first time, they've produced "Cookie Jar," an absurdly infectious electronic dance treat entirely suitable for a trippy, surreal video treatment. That's provided by multidisciplinary art and film director team Ben&Julia. I could describe this, but words would not do it justice. All you need to know is that Jake the Rapper dances while inviting you to "put your hand in the cookie jar." And there's 3D belly animation. 


You can find this version of "Cookie Jar," as well as several sweet remixes, on iTunes. 

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Queerlicue #4

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples for this special beards and barbers edition...

Stubble & 'Stache. I have a beard. Lots of men have beards these days -- it's a facial hair renaissance out there! Beard grooming is big business and there are hundreds of small companies devoted to helping us keep our beards looking and feeling good. I've tried a bunch of  beard oils, balms and conditioners over the past few years and I'm particularly fond of products from Stubble & 'Stache. The founder is veteran special operations Marine Nicholas Karnaze.

Stubble & 'Stache founder Nicholas Karnaze, what some might call a lumbersexual
Karnaze wanted an offbeat pitch video to introduce his original product. When I saw this, I laughed -- and it motivated me to give his face moisturizer and beard conditioner a try.


Stubble & 'Stache donates a portion of profits to charities supporting wounded veterans and their families, with particular interest in organizations combating post-traumatic stress and depression. For an interview and some backstory about Karnaze, go here.


The Gay Beards. Here's the description from their YouTube channel: Two best friends from this cozy nest called Portland, Oregon. We tend to think the world needs more love & laughter. Okay. And my description: Two startlingly handsome hairballs who like to decorate their beards.

Like this, for example:

The Gay Beards , Jonathan (right) & Brian

So, if you've ever thought, "I wish there was some kind of tutorial video that would show me how to give myself a flower beard," here you go...  


Wanna see lots more beard bedazzling? Head on over to their Instagram page here.


The Naked Barber. "Add some kink to your cut." That's the maxim of Richard Savvy, AKA The Naked Barber.

Richard Savvy, The Naked Barber (photo via his tumblr blog)
Savvy kicked his men's grooming and barbering career up a notch by stripping naked for haircuts, head shaving, body clipping and waxing -- and his clients can get naked, too. His website promises that "Richard can satisfy all your fetish grooming needs in his fully-equipped private studio located in Surrey Hills, Sydney." That's Australia, in case you're making notes for a bucket list. Straight, gay, bisexual and couples are all welcome. In the video below, Mr. Savvy spells out his philosophy and provides one of his special services, the sling shave, More specifically, a scrotum shave in a sling. It's arousing, not pornographic, but so not safe for work.


Want more? You can follow The Naked Barber's exploits on tumblr. Heads up: lots of explicit stuff.



Want more Queerlicue? Follow the links... #3, #2 and #1


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Queerlicue #3

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox. 

Scott Bradlee (Photo: Braverijah Gregg)
He's a pianist/composer/arranger who came up with an idea to give contemporary pop tunes a vintage treatment. He collaborates with different musicians, records the results and uploads regularly to his popular YouTube channel. The Postmodern Jukebox Facebook page declares: "We take pop music back in time." And Bradlee has a knack for selecting unexpected songs. For instance, Celine Dion's Titanic movie theme "My Heart Will Go On." You've heard it a million times, but not the way Bradlee arranges it and Broadway's fabulous Mykal Kilgore sings it.



All Postmodern Jukebox's music -- including their latest release Swipe Right for Vintage -- is available at Amazon and on iTunes. For more info and tour dates, you can visit their website here.


Shut Up and Dance. One of 2015's biggest hits is Walk the Moon's "Shut Up and Dance."

Walk the Moon
Left to right: Eli Maiman, Kevin Ray, Nicholas Petricca & Sean Waugaman
The band's video is retro-cute and lively, but it's been officially upstaged by a fan from the Netherlands who put together a stunning compilation video for the song. The results are a marriage of irresistible power pop and memorable movie dance moments. It's joyful stuff. Curmudgeons beware.




Everyone's Upstairs Neighbor. Have you ever lived in an apartment with a noisy upstairs neighbor that made you ask: "What the exact living fuck are they doing up there?" The folks at Above Average -- an Internet-based comedy network -- have come up with one possible explanation. Meet Julia and David, whose philosophy is: "Their ceiling is our stage."

David (the awfully woofy Dan Chamberlain), Julia (Molly Lloyd)
and their hapless neighbor (Laura Wilcox).

Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Queer Cinephile(s) #34: Vertigo

I'm a gay dude who loves movies -- a queer cinephile. I studied film in college and once reviewed movies for a TV station (don't get excited; it was way back in the 20th century). For this blog series, I'm watching and reviewing 50 films I've never seen before -- Oscar bait, indie darlings, black & white classics, blockbusters, cult flicks and weird shit my friends keep recommending. Go on, say it: "I can't believe you've never seen..."

Vertigo
 (released May 1958)

James Stewart as John "Scottie" Ferguson in Vertigo.
This image is from a nightmare sequence in which he morphs into the Wizard of Oz for a second. 

Here's the original theatrical trailer...


What the Queer Cinephile Says: Vertigo's opening sequence -- lasting all of a minute and half -- plays like a bad dream. Police Detective John "Scottie" Ferguson" (James Stewart) and another cop are chasing a felon across some San Francisco rooftops at night. Scottie slips. As he dangles from a gutter about half a dozen stories above the street, the other cop attempts to rescue him. "Give me your hand!" he yells, just before plummeting to his own death. It doesn't feel real -- you expect Scottie to wake up from a nightmare, drenched in sweat. Nope, it happened. We never learn exactly how Scottie managed to survive the incident himself, but he tells his lovelorn college sweetheart Midge (Barbara Bel Geddes) that the aftermath has left him with a fear of heights, known as acrophobia. And acrophobia can cause vertigo, a feeling of dizziness associated with being in a very high place. Vertigo is also a much better name for a movie than Acrophobia.

Scottie retires from the police force, but agrees to do some private detective work for Gavin Elster, another old college friend. Elster married well and became a shipping magnate, but now has a quandary about his wife, Madeleine (Kim Novak). "Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past, someone dead, can enter and take possession of a living being?" See, Gavin doesn't want Scottie to follow Madeleine around because he suspects she's an adulteress. He just thinks she's possessed by her own great grandmother, a woman that died in 1857. And so Scottie follows Madeleine to various locations -- her great grandmother's tombstone, a museum where a painting of the woman hangs, and even an old hotel that's only slightly less foreboding than the one in Psycho. Baffled, Scottie recruits Midge for some research and they visit a San Francisco historian who connects the dots: the old hotel had once been the great grandmother's home, she was abandoned by her wealthy husband, separated from her only child, went mad and committed suicide.

Fortunately, I'd never read a single review of Vertigo before I watched it, so nothing was spoiled for me. But this is an Alfred Hitchcock movie. The celebrated director didn't do ghosts or demons or possession. Everything about his film work suggests that he believed human beings are capable of sinister, monstrous things because of individual motivations or a personality disorder. So I was not remotely surprised that the eventual explanation for Madeleine's behavior doesn't involve anything supernatural. And, of course, Scottie falls in love with Madeleine -- the only way you wouldn't see that coming is if you'd never watched another movie in your entire life.

As Scottie, James Stewart gets to play a man with acrophobia and vertigo, then acute melancholia with a twist of guilt (yeah, that's a thing), and finally he's consumed by unrelenting obsession. I'm not a James (It's a Wonderful Life) Stewart fan at all, but Hitchcock pulled quite a performance out of him -- before it's over, he's a fervent, anguished mess. As Madeleine, a stunning and excellent Kim Novak is just the right combination of strange and alluring -- it's as if she's bathed in a mysterious dreamlike aura. In contrast, there's Scottie's down-to-earth college sweetheart Midge, played by Barbara Bel Geddes (known to '80s night time soap fans as Miss Ellie on Dallas). She's a nice lingerie designer with a funky cool little San Francisco apartment that would probably rent for $4,500 a month today. Midge has a bittersweet, unrequited crush on an oblivious Scottie, and there's nothing she can do as he becomes increasingly obsessed with the gorgeous, enigmatic Madeleine. Spoiler alert: It doesn't end well.

Vertigo received mixed reviews back in 1958 and only broke even at the box office. It was removed from circulation for a long time, but finally given another U.S. theatrical run in 1983 and released on home video in 1984. Proving commercially successful with '80s viewers, many contemporary critics reevaluated the movie. By 1989 it was recognized as "culturally, historically and aesthetically significant" by the United States Library of Congress and selected for preservation in the National Film Registry. In 1996, Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic Roger Ebert called it "one of the two or three best films Hitchcock ever made." Then something genuinely amazing happened to Vertigo: it was named the greatest film of all time by Sight & Sound,  the British Film Institute's film magazine. Every ten years since 1952, Sight & Sound has asked the world's leading film critics to compile a list of the 10 best films of all time. Vertigo entered their list at 7th in 1982, then placed 4th in 1992, jumped to second place in 2002, and took first place in 2012. Most astonishing, Vertigo bumped Orson Welles' Citizen Kane (1941) from the top spot, a position it had held since 1962!

Vertigo is a far-fetched but insanely compelling mashup of mystery, melodrama and romance. I can agree that it deserves preservation in the National Film Registry, but I'm going to have to disagree with Sight & Sound over that greatest-film-of-all-time acknowledgment. Vertigo is not a better film than Orson Welles' Citizen Kane. I studied Kane in college; it's a flat-out masterpiece that changed American filmmaking. In my opinion, Vertigo is not even Alfred Hitchcock's greatest film. I'd argue that Rebecca (1940) or Rear Window (1954) are superior works. And if you want to call any one of his films "culturally, historically and aesthetically significant," look no further than Psycho (1960).

Vertigo is the first film in this blog series that left me genuinely conflicted. I admired some of Hitchcock's choices, including long dialogue-free sequences, the use of San Francisco area locations and some splendid camerawork and cinematography (which would later be replicated by directors like Steven Spielberg and Brian DePalma). But a couple of things really bothered me. I was troubled by one nagging plot hole. Bernard Herrmann's score is frequently terrific, but there are moments when it sounds awfully similar to music he composed for Psycho two years later. There's a psychedelic nightmare sequence that looks like an experimental blooper. And it just feels too long. Then I watched it again. After a second viewing, my verdict on Vertigo: it's a great film.  The central performances are outstanding and the final thirty minutes are riveting. All the things that bothered me the first time I saw it were still there, and that led me to the obvious conclusion: even great films have flaws.

Stray Gay Observations:

Vertigo's main theme music is cleverly sampled for the opening sequence of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City mini-series that originally aired on PBS in 1993.

As far back as silent films, Hollywood has been obsessed with female eyebrows. Some of the earliest stars had their eyebrows completely shaved off, then drawn back on with a grease pencil. The desired arch and fullness have evolved over time, but the trend toward a more natural look didn't really arrive until the1960s. Below, Kim Novak has a common 1950s look. The arch is softer and her real hair is enhanced with a pencil to make it look darker and fuller. Vertigo was shot in color using the higher resolution wide-screen VistaVision format, so Novak's eyebrows didn't really have a chance at looking natural -- they look like they were painted on by someone in the makeup department.

Kim Novak
One of the original problems I had with Vertigo is the significant (and obvious) age difference between James Stewart and Kim Novak. He was 49 and she was 24 at the time the film was made. At first the disparity irritated me, but then I realized Vertigo is way more serious about obsession than love. As it progresses, that age difference adds an extra measure of creepiness to what's happening. Although Hitchcock deemed Vertigo one of his favorite films, he wasn't shy about blaming it's tepid box office and indifferent critical response on James Stewart. Stewart, he claimed, was too old to be a convincing love interest for Kim Novak. So here's what I'd say to Hitch if we could resurrect him for a chat: Oh, Alfred, please. You cast the man. You also cast Barbara Bel Geddes as his old college sweetheart. Bel Geddes was 35 when you made the movie. So she was roughly 15 years younger than Stewart. Was he her professor at this college? And incidentally, you also cast Tom Helmore as Novak's husband. He was even older than Stewart -- 54! Consider this: Maybe 1958 audiences didn't connect with your movie because it was an unexpected departure from the romantic thriller promised by the trailer. Your movie is dark. Very dark. Your leading man is an emotionally disturbed abject failure. Your ending is cruel and shocking; it offers no solace. In other words, your film was way ahead of its time. So let's just be thankful for all those people who rescued it from obscurity back in the 1980s.  

Should You See It? There are Hitchcock films I find a lot more satisfying, entertaining or disturbing than Vertigo -- Rebecca, Strangers on a Train, Rear Window and Psycho. And I definitely have some personal reservations about it, but that wouldn't stop me from recommending Vertigo. It may be flawed, but I can't deny that Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo is also an audacious, twisted and risky motion picture that deserves to be seen and discussed .
  
Next Time: Cabaret (1972)

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Queerlicue #2

Queerlicue* noun, kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

Kazaky. They're a Ukrainian-based synthpop/dance boy band that's been around since 2010.

Kazaky (a current iteration; the lineup seems to change every year)
Although kazaky is Ukrainian for "Cossacks," the revolving members of this group claim their name has nothing to do with Russian history's self-governing military communities, but is rather a derivative form of the Japanese word Kazaki, a popular name for boys in Japan. Personally, I'd have gone with the Cossack thing. Anyway, they gained attention outside the Ukraine back in 2012 after appearing as backup dancers in Madonna's video for "Girls Gone Wild." They aren't just dancing. They're dancing in heels. Stiletto heels. In one of their more recent videos -- below -- they have some fun fusing hyper-masculine and feminine fashion together.




Ke$ha & The Veterans. Four men who served in the armed forces -- Mat, Jarred, Rocco and Derek -- were looking for a way to acknowledge Veteran's Day 2014 and promote their clothing line, Article 15. The solution? A lip dub video shot in a car. The twist? Rapper/singer/songwriter Ke$ha pops up from the back seat to pick the song -- "Your Love Is My Drug," her 2010 hit. And then they all make complete fools of themselves.



If you'd like to check out Article 15's irreverently butch t-shirts or beard care products, go here.


Deviant Otter & "All About That Bass." After shooting a handful of porn scenes, the tumblr sensation known as Deviant Otter became a do-it-yourself adult filmmaker himself. His videos have an uninhibited, unscripted style that the SexFlexible blog called "an unapologetic display of natural, organic, real sex." In other words, he's found a niche in the competitive world of amateur porn. I'm not going to show you one of his fuck scenes -- I'm certain you can figure out how to find those yourself. (Side note: If I was 20 years younger, I'd kidnap this man. Or, at the very least, I'd make porn with him.)

Deviant Otter (photo via his website)
Turns out he's pretty frisky and talented outside the bedroom as well. In his spare time, D.O. and some friends put together a funny, sexy parody of "All About That Bass," Meghan Trainor's 2014 funky pop hit. This is no lip dub -- it's a brand new recording of the song. I can probably get you to watch this just by letting you know he strips down to his underwear, but the whole endeavor is giddy indulgence. Deviant Otter has some moves. And he can twerk.




Wanna see Queerlicue #1? It's here.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Beards of Modern Music, Vol. 3

There's a facial hair renaissance going on out there, folks. This series is all about the bearded men who make music. Check out the fuzz and stubble, but stick around for the sound.


The Timbers. They're four men from Down Under -- Simon Basey, Benjamin Roberts, Kyle Vause, Joe Murphy --  who describe their sound as "Raucous Alternative High Energy Modern Australian Folk." Find out more on their website, Facebook page or YouTube channel.

The Timbers, left to right: Joe Murphy, Kyle Vause, Simon Basey & Benjamin Roberts 

Song & Video: "Mean Streak." Catchy, rambunctious as hell, and I bet they have you singing the refrain before it's over. The video is a great example of what a good imagination can do with a low budget.




Synoptix. It's the musical project from a trio of dudes out of Yekaterinburg, Russia. The sound -- a satisfying evolution from their 2010 debut album -- is a blend of beatbox, electronics and electric guitar. Think rock infused with hip hop, funk and lounge. Disarming but gutsy -- and vocalist Alexey Bobylev is my current music man crush. They're recording new tracks as I write this, so -- fingers crossed -- there'll be a new album this year (or they'll release the singles, at least). For now, there's more music on their YouTube channel.

Synoptix, left to right: Alexey Bobylev, Vitaly Finsky & Denis Burhanov

Song & Video: "I Had a Soul." It's an impeccably arranged breakup tune that puts Bobylev's voice up front. Shot on a makeshift stage in an art gallery, the video is a live performance that captures the band's enthusiasm and skill, as well as Bobylev's impressive vocal range.




Carl Espen. At 17 he won a local singing competition and started to believe a career in music was possible. Sidetracked by military service and a day job in the glass business, it wasn't until he was 31 that he got an enormous break: Mr. Espen was Norway's 2014 Eurovision Song Contest entry with a genuinely intimate and evocative ballad called "Silent Storm." Written by his younger cousin, Espen took the song into the Top 10. Post-Eurovision, looks like he might get a shot at that career after all. Check out his website here.

Carl Espen

Song & Video: "Holding On." The tune feels personal, touching on a universal theme: knowing when it's time to let go in a relationship and move on. The lovely plaintive quality of Espen's voice suits it perfectly. Sounds like a downer, right? Nah, it's sneakily hopeful. The video was shot in Oslo, Norway, a city you rarely see represented in pop culture. But the real draw is Carl Espen. The man has a presence; he doesn't need to wave his arms or beat his chest to hold your attention.




Wanna see the first two volumes in this series? Click on either link below.

Volume 1
Volume 2

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Queerlicue #1

Queerlicue* 
noun
kwir~li~kyoo

1. like a curlicue, but with a queer flourish
2. something amusingly odd, strikingly unconventional or accidentally fabulous

* Yeah, I made up that word.

Examples...

Karl Wolf. This Lebanese-Canadian singer hit big in 2008 with a thumpy pop-rap-dance fusion of Toto's '80s classic "Africa." He's been roundly criticized for reinterpreting old songs, but remains undeterred.

Karl Wolf (from his Facebook page)
I just discovered this: Wolf gave Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way" a makeover in 2013. He lifts the chorus, attaches new verses and teams up with award-winning filmmaker David Zennie for a video that can only be described as a glorious homosexual wet dream. You must see this. Seriously, I can't even be mad at the guy for mangling my favorite Fleetwood Mac song when he's so enthusiastic about it... and buff, tattooed, reeks of testosterone and should definitely have a side career in gay porn.


One more photo of Karl Wolf because, well...


Dover Police DashCam Lip Sync. Police officers in various parts of the United States made the news for some pretty heinous behavior in 2014. Is there any way to offset all the negative publicity? Master Cpl. Jeff Davis of the Dover (Delaware) Police Department thinks so. With the Department's encouragement and consent. the father of four performed a super-amusing lip-sync rendition of Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" from behind the wheel of his cruiser. "I'm kind of a crazy guy anyway," Davis says. Taylor Swift's Twitter response: "LOLOLOLOL THE SASS." Yup, he's sassy.



Nic Bello and Pancho. Born in Turin, Italy, filmmaker Nic Bello has become famous by co-starring in a series of YouTube videos with his pet Chihuahua, Pancho.

Nic and Pancho (from their Facebook page)
Chihuahuas don't seem to have such a great reputation -- they're often described as nervous, and considered easily provoked to attack. When I was a kid, my favorite aunt and uncle had one named Tissy. She would chase her own tail until she got dizzy and collapsed. True story. Anyway, Pancho is clearly not your typical Chihuahua, perhaps because he's devoted to his yoga and meditation practice with Nic. I'd like to do yoga with Nic, too.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Sound of Queer Music 2014, Vol. 3

In this four-part, end-of-the-year series, I'm featuring sixteen queer artists or bands that fucked with the heteronormative cultural bias in 2014.

Wiz Kilo, one of the queer artists that flourished in 2014 (photo: Tristan Harris)
The first four appear in Volume 1 -- here; Volume 2 is here. These four made the cut for Volume 3...

Wiz Kilo. This singer/songwriter/producer/dancer was born in Syria. His family immigrated to Canada when he was 5 years old. By 18 he was part of a Canadian boy band called 2Much, where he was given the name "Wiz" -- his real name is Wissam. Kilo released a couple of solo EPs, but his first full-length album didn't arrive until 2014. Jungle Disco is an excellent electro/hip hop/R&B recording that he wrote, recorded, engineered and mixed himself. Visit his website here.

Wiz Kilo (photo: Tristan Harris)
Song & Video: "Warmbody." It's a sinuous electro groove about yearning, desire, sex... and the reality that sometimes we just need a warm body. The song itself is actually over 7 minutes (it's available on iTunes and Amazon), but Kilo serves up an abbreviated version for this video, a minimalist affair in which he expertly (and half-nakedly) grooms his beard and buzzes his head. It's  sort of an inexplicably erotic tutorial. Doesn't hurt that Kilo is a cute, sexy fella.



Stereogamous. This Australian duo, DJs Paul McDermott and Jonny Seymour (AKA Paul Mac and Seymour Butz) have remixed or collaborated with a long list of artists -- Kylie Minogue, George Michael, Sia, The Presets and LCD Soundsystem, to name a few. According to their Facebook page, their particular genre of music is "bath house." It's also been described as "music for making out" and "horizontal dance music." I'm especially fond of Jonny Seymour's philosophy: "Age should be no barrier to the pleasures of dance music. The sense of freedom it brings shouldn't be limited to the young." You can find a stream of their mixes and collaborations here.

Left to right: Paul McDermott, Shaun J Wright (a recent collaborator) & Jonny Seymour
Song & Video: "Sweat," featuring Shaun J Wright. The song, a collaboration with Shaun J Wright, is kind of sleazy and provocative. There's some disco-tech erotica up in the house. Uh huh. The video? Shaun J Wright (he doesn't use a period after that middle initial) and a big ole bearded glitterbear will entertain you. They don't call Stereogamous super gay for nothing.




Bright Light Bright Light. That's Welsh, London-based electropop artist Rod Thomas. The Guardian summed up his 2014 album, Life is Easy, like this: "... combines euphoric melodies, lavish electronics and unabashed pop in a way that showcases his songwriting skills." He's not particularly cool, but he's hard to resist.

Bright Light Bright Light, AKA Rod Thomas (photo: Adrian Tuazon McCheyne)
Song & Video: "Everything I Ever Wanted," featuring The Pink Singers. This is a fresh take of a song featured on his Life is Easy album. He re-recorded it with London's longest-running LGBT choir, The Pink Singers, for 2014 World AIDS Day. A percentage of the sales go to The Elton John AIDS Foundation. It was already a great song; the background choir and effusive arrangement give it a spiritual quality. The lovely video is about the simple joys of childhood friendship.




Against Me! This rousing punk band's been around since 1997, fronted by vocalist/guitarist Tom Gabel. Having dealt with gender dysphoria (feeling strongly that you are not the gender you physically appear to be) since childhood, Gabel came out as transgender in 2012, then transitioned to Laura Jane Grace. Against Me! released their first album with Grace as lead singer in January 2014. Entitled Transgender Dysphoria Blues, many critics hailed it as one of the year's best. It kicks ass.

Left to right: Inge Johansson, James Bowman, Laura Jane Grace & Atom Willard
Song & Video: "Black Me Out." It's intense, brutal and vitriolic for sure. Laura Jane Grace sounds like she had a few things to get off her chest when she wrote it. In the chorus, Grace sings, "I want to piss on the walls of your house." Well, come on, haven't we all felt that way a time or two? Stark and straightforward, this is a gritty video that gets the job done. (Note: Some lyrics are not safe for work.)


If you'd care to see an earlier incarnation of Against Me! with Tom Gabel, go here.

Check out Volume 1 in this series here -- it features Magic Mouth, The 2 Bears, Conchita Wurst and Mary Lambert.

Volume 2 is here, featuring Hercules & Love Affair with John Grant, Angel Haze, MRF (Mike Flanagan) and Logan Lynn.

Friday, October 31, 2014

The Queer Cinephile(s) #33: Trog

I'm a gay dude who loves movies -- a queer cinephile. I studied film in college and once reviewed movies for a TV station (don't get excited; it was way back in the 20th century). When my Netflix queue swelled to over 400 titles, I gave myself an assignment: watch 50 films that I've never seen before and write something about them. I'm watching a little bit of everything -- Oscar bait, indie darlings, black & white classics, cult flicks, blockbusters and weird shit my friends have been recommending for years. Go ahead, say it: "I can't believe you've never seen..."

Trog (released October 1970)

Trog (Joe Cornelius) covets Dr. Brockton's (Joan Crawford) pink silk scarf.

Here's the original theatrical trailer...



What the Queer Cinephile Says: Trog is a low-budget British sci-fi monster horror melodrama about the discovery of a prehistoric man -- also known as a troglodyte. If it starred anyone besides legendary Oscar-winning actress Joan Crawford, it probably would have been forgotten decades ago. Widowed, financially strapped, a functioning alcoholic and still driven to work after five decades in movies, sixty-five-year-old Crawford took a part that required her to declare emphatically and with dignity, "It's my firm belief that Trog is the missing link." When you make 92 feature films, some of them are just not going to be very good. It's inevitable. If you're lucky, however, you might make at least one that's so bad it's good. Trog is Miss Crawford's bad masterpiece. She gets to speak science, like this:

"Conceivably, Trog was frozen solid during the long, long glacial age. A state similar to cryogenic suspension. Then as the underground streams and currents brought more and more warmth to the frozen atmosphere, his body thawed out. We now know that human sperm, red blood cells, bone marrow cells, even skin can be brought back to life after freezing."

And she sells that like only Crawford can. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

In the English countryside, a freelance expedition of three young British explorers -- Bill, Cliff and Malcolm -- stumble upon the entrance to a cave that's not on their map. Uh oh. Deep inside this impossibly well-lit, paper mache and fiberglass formation they find an underground stream with water "like ice." Malcolm concludes that "it's probably fed by subterranean glacial waters." Hearing that, Bill and Cliff immediately strip down to their adorable boxer shorts and dive right in because they don't want the "sub-aqua boys" to go first and take credit for whatever they discover on the other side of the stream. What they discover is an inhospitable troglodyte who's so peeved by guests dropping by in their underwear that he kills Bill and scares the shit out of Cliff. Malcolm rescues Cliff and takes him directly to a research institute conveniently located on the outskirts of a generic English village near the cave -- and, coincidentally, it's run by world famous anthropologist Dr. Brockton (Joan Crawford). Suffering from a serious case of bad-actor-in-shock syndrome, Cliff babbles about something "monstrous, like nothing I've ever seen before." Then Cliff disappears from the film entirely... which is unfortunate primarily because he looks quite good in boxers. Anyway, Dr. Brockton convinces Malcolm to take her to the cave because, "This could be the one chance in a lifetime. Who knows? An opportunity to lift the veil from the past." Dr. Brockton photographs the troglodyte and presents her evidence to the local police inspector along with a science lesson. "Half ape, half man -- trog -- a primitive cave dweller," she declares.

Next thing you know, curious villagers, police officials, the fire department, a TV news crew and somebody with a refreshment stand are all outside the cave waiting for the the sub-aqua boys -- Is this really what they call frogmen in England? -- to capture this primitive cave dweller so Dr. Brockton can look under its loincloth. Emerging from the crowd is Mr. Murdoch (Michael Gough), the sourpuss village idiot who has ferocious animosity toward Dr. Brockton. He's so bitter and acrimonious that you immediately suspect he's a rival anthropologist or spurned former lover from her past. No, not in this movie. His sole motivation for being a raging asshole is that he thinks her research is "taxpayer's money down the drain!" Really, he's like one of those insufferable Tea Party people, but with a British accent. So Murdoch thinks the whole thing's a hoax until the troglodyte unceremoniously bursts out of the cave, tosses a styrofoam rock at a TV cameraman and sends everyone scurrying away in fear. Except Dr. Brockton, of course. She came prepared with a tranquilizer dart gun that sounds like a shotgun.  

Back at the research institute, Dr. Brockton and her sweet blonde scientist daughter, Anne, feed Trog a rubber lizard. "For a senior citizen he certainly has a marvelous appetite!" Anne exclaims. They give him -- I guess it's a him; no one ever checks -- a doll and a train. He likes both. Gender-neutral parenting -- this movie was way ahead of it's time! And he likes Dr. Brockton's pink scarf so much that he puts it around his own neck, an obvious sign that he has a future in missy fashion design. They discover that Trog prefers classical music over rock and roll, meaning that he's going to be unbearable at dinner parties. But when they take him outside to play ball, he promptly strangles a German Shepherd to death. The town is suddenly outraged and there's an inquiry. This must have been a really beloved dog because there was no inquiry when Trog bludgeoned poor Bill to death in that cave. Dr. Brockton compares Trog to a "retarded child" that can't be held responsible for his actions. But Murdoch disrupts the inquiry, naturally, calling Brockton a heathen and sharing his two-point plan for handling Trog: "Kill it first, then study it's hide!" That retarded business aside, Dr. Brockton makes an impassioned speech on behalf of Trog and, to Murdoch's hammy dismay, gets to continue her research. Side note: As the odious Murdoch, Michael Gough is so over the top that it's amazing his career lasted long enough for him to portray the butler in every single 1990s entry in the Batman franchise.

Dr. Brockton recruits an American surgeon to implant a "micro-trans" in Trog and then he's hooked up to a TV that shows us his memories. Trog's memories -- stop-motion dinosaur battles, erupting volcanoes and glaciers that led to his "icy hibernation" -- look suspiciously like four minutes of garishly tinted footage from a 1956 Irwin Allen (yeah, the Poseidon Adventure and Towering Inferno guy) documentary called The Animal World. Oh, and the "micro-trans" thingy also gives Trog the gift of speech, which he uses to compliment sweet blonde scientist daughter Anne's blue dress. All this makes Dr. Brockton cry, leading you to wonder if that was in the script or if Crawford is weeping, understandably, for the mortifying demise of her once illustrious career.

Before Trog can reveal "the baffling secrets of evolution," there's yet another inquiry and more of Murdoch howling about this "murdering monster." To prove his point that Trog is a murdering monster, Murdoch breaks into the research center and frees Trog so that he can, presumably, choke more dogs, frighten everyone in the generic English village next door and kill somebody else. Not surprisingly, Murdoch The Village Idiot did not think his plan through; he's expeditiously beaten to death by Trog the Murdering Monster. Finally, Trog runs amok because, well, it's not like you would expect him to skip back to the lab, tie Dr. Brockton's pink scarf around his neck and arrange a tea party for that guy who implanted a "micro-trans" under his skin. No, this movie needs a suitable climax -- roughly fifteen laugh-out-loud minutes of Trog being naughty. He flips a car, murders some shopkeepers, terrorizes a playground and kidnaps a blonde girl. And you know what happens to people -- or troglodyes -- that kidnap little blonde girls. Spoiler Alert (but not so much): "It's got to be destroyed!"

Trog is the kind of movie that deserves an exclamation point in the title, just because. Alas, that must not have occurred to the three men responsible for the screenplay -- Peter Bryan, John Gilling and Aben Kandel. It also didn't occur to them to give Dr. Brockton a first name, or explain why her own daughter has an English accent and she does not. But, holy hell, they sure did concoct a heinous mashup of The Miracle Worker and Frankenstein, with a pinch of King Kong. No director could have saved Trog, but Freddie Francis stages everything so ineptly that it's mind-boggling to find out he'd actually directed eighteen other movies first. Incredibly, Francis went on to become a respected cinematographer who's worked for Martin Scorsese and David Lynch.

The credits tell us that Trog was designed by Charles Parker, a makeup artist who worked in movies from the early 1940s until his death in 1977 (his last film was Star Wars). He also worked on Stanley Kubrick's groundbreaking film 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). If you've seen it, you'll probably remember that it begins with a sequence commonly known as "The Dawn of Man," wherein about a dozen Paleolithic man-apes figure out how to use a bone as a weapon. Only one of the man-apes is ever shown in a medium closeup, but watch carefully and you'll see a distinct resemblance to Trog. Looks like Parker recycled the worst of those masks for this film and just attached some hair.  It looks unfinished; somewhat better than a Halloween mask, but nowhere near as convincing as the state-of-the-art makeup Hollywood used two years earlier for Planet of the Apes (1968). Trog is just a goofy creation in a bad rubber mask, a silly loincloth (really, when did he decide to cover up his junk?) and a pair of big furry house slippers. You can't take him seriously as either missing link or monster. However, the chunky man under the mask (Joe Cornelius) appears to be having a blast.

Trog, a face that only People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) could love.

Stray Gay Observations: Trog has sexy legs, nice arms and a cute little belly, making him somewhat more attractive to me than Bigfoot. After a couple of margaritas I'd probably fuck him.

Crawford's wardrobe is regrettable. Only Trog looks worse. I wanted to blame it on the costume department, but my research turned up an interesting fact: the budget was so tight, Crawford wore some of her own clothes. I know she's supposed to be an anthropologist and all that, but yikes, there are some unflattering outfits here -- even for 1970.

Crawford worked steadily for nearly five decades, starting in silent films with 1925's Pretty Ladies. Along the way she made some really entertaining movies, including: Grand Hotel (1932), The Women (1939), Mildred Pierce (1945), Humoresque (1946), Possessed (1947), Johnny Guitar (1954) and (arguably her last great film) What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962). The success of Baby Jane should have led to other good parts. It didn't. Left nearly broke from her last marriage, Crawford took the roles she was offered -- lurid, low-budget thrillers like Strait-Jacket (1964), I Saw What You Did (1964) and Berserk! (1967). By her own admission she hated Trog; it became her final feature film performance. But as awful an experience as it might have been for her to make Trog, Crawford commits to the damn thing with a shocking degree of sincerity for someone who's required to act with one of the most unconvincing beasts in celluloid history. Bad as Trog is -- and it's shockingly bad --  Crawford somehow manages to give the whole thing an endearing quality.

The remarkable career of Joan Crawford (1906-1977) has been somewhat eclipsed by the publication of adopted daughter Christina Crawford's harsh 1978 tell-all screed, Mommie Dearest, and its subsequent screen adaptation starring Faye Dunaway ("What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire hangers... EVER!"). Here's how I feel about Mommie Dearest: I think the book is probably exaggerated BS from a disgruntled kid, but I regularly regard the film as the best worst movie ever made.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist...

"What's a troglodyte doing in this cave when I told you no troglodytes... EVER!" 

Should You See It? Absolutely. Here are three reasons: (1) this is an unbelievably cheesy, profoundly absurd movie; (2) it's an infamous camp classic that has to be seen to be believed; and (3) Joan Fucking Crawford. 

PS. I would also like to argue (with tongue firmly planted in cheek, sort of) that Trog is a prescient motion picture of significant importance. The Murdoch character -- an intolerant, blustering, overprivileged white male with unwavering contempt for science -- gives us an uncanny glimpse into America's future.