Any Major Dude Will Tell You

Weekly Rewind: Some Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-02-24T20:03:00.001-08:00

Dutch scientists have created strips of muscle tissue in a lab using stem cells. And they think this could potentially become a substitute for meat. Remember when people were debating the merits of stem cell research? One side said it just leads to the unethical destruction of human embryos. The other side claimed it could lead to breakthrough treatments for all kinds of diseases and debilitating medical conditions. Hey scientists, I'm not sure you're going to win this debate by producing the first Frankenburger.

Sex sells, right? A San Francisco advertising agency has pulled off a clever spin on that idea with this ad for a new product from Liquid-Plumr. It's called the "Double Impact Snake + Gel System," which frankly sounds like something you might buy in an adult novelty shop anyway. The one minute spot is a innuendo-laden porn spoof filled with sexually suggestive silliness and a Barry White-like voiceover. If you don't laugh at this, it's probably because someone needs to snake your drain.

It's Academy Awards time again - the show airs Sunday, February 26th on ABC. I doubt I've missed a telecast since 1974, when The Exorcist lost Best Picture to The Sting and a streaker ran across the stage behind presenter David Niven. I hear the Oscars jokingly referred to as "the gay man's Super Bowl." Whatever. It's an evening that honors motion pictures, sure, but it also celebrates fashion and celebrity while simultaneously stirring the emotions of film fanatics around the world. The Oscars are best when something unexpected or awkward happens, reminding us that moviemakers are people, too. It's also nice when the notoriously stuffy Academy makes an effort not to take themselves so very seriously all the time. Like in the clip below, where comedian Mike Myers and 1988 Best Supporting Actor winner Kevin Kline (A Fish Called Wanda) have a little fun with the proper etiquette of handling Oscar.

Each year a couple of friends and I make our annual Oscar predictions. I've gotten better at predicting winners over the years, typically nailing 17 or 18 out of 24 categories. So, here are my guesses for the best picture, actors, actresses and director. Let's see how well I do...

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Actress: Viola Davis, The Help
Best Actor: George Clooney, The Descendants (possible surprise, Jean Dujardan, The Artist)
Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist (possible upset, Martin Scorcese, Hugo)
Best Picture: The Artist

I'm not a huge fan of the TV show Glee. I find the writing wildly inconsistent, but it's enjoyable as long as you just accept that those kids are enrolled in Ally McBeal High School, which apparently exists in some parallell universe version of Ohio. My favorite character is gay teen Kurt Hummel, played by Chris Colfer, a pretty terrific singer and actor. The creators of Glee insist it's a comedy, but the character of Kurt was involved in a serious, realistic plot line about bullying that's shown Colfer's dramatic range. Will openly gay Chris Colfer, who sounds pretty grounded and smart in interviews, have a career when Glee ends? The trailer for his upcoming film, Struck by Lightning, suggests he might. Take a look.

Are you a Downton Abbey fan? Bummed that the second season is over and you'll have to wait until next January for PBS to air new episodes? Maybe this will help. The next project from Abbey creator Julian Fellowes is Titanic, a four-hour miniseries focusing on the divide and tensions between the upper and lower class passengers on the doomed ocean liner. U.K. broadcaster ITV will air it in April to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the sinking. Here in the U.S., ABC has the rights and is trying to decide whether to air it in April as well - and risk being drowned out by other anniversary events like the re-release of James Cameron's 1997 Oscar-winning epic Titanic, scheduled to hit theaters April 4th. And it's in 3D now, because, well, what else would you expect James Cameron to do? The promo for the new version is below. And you know what? I'm a sucker for all things Titanic; I wanna see them both.

I always enjoy a thoughtful skewering of homophobia, especially when it's done with humor. Here's a "Gentlemen's Rant" on the subject. (Oh, and this is Kate Upton. You're welcome.)

I was an employee of CNN from 1983 to 2000. I started when I was quite young and it was a crazy and exciting place to work. Some of my most vivid memories of the early days involve Lou Dobbs, who was chief business correspondent and host of a show called Moneyline until it later morphed into Lou Dobbs Tonight. People literally feared Lou Dobbs. I spent twenty years in broadcasting and I never encountered a more condescending, arrogant, egotistical, or mean-spirited individual than Lou Dobbs. I watched him unceremoniously fire a producer during the commercial break of a live show I was working on, and to this day I have no idea what the guy did to deserve it. He called one colleague a "puckering asshole." To. His. Face. And back in the days when they still allowed smoking indoors, he'd light up when he was off camera during long taped segments in live shows and then simply discard his cigarette by throwing it behind him in the newsroom - where people were working. He was finally let go from CNN in 2009 after numerous anti-immigrant rants and giving airtime to ludicrous birther conspiracy theories about President Obama. In other words, he's a natural fit for Fox News. And that's where he is now, hosting yet another version of Lou Dobbs Tonight. Check out this recent clip of Dobbs railing against the new film Dr. Suess' The Lorax, which he's convinced - even though the film hasn't been released and he's only seen the trailer - is part of a Hollywood conspiracy to indoctrinate children into believing in terrible things like fairness and environmental consciousness. What Fox's petulant dinosaur fails to recognize is that The Lorax was already a fable about the effects of industrialized society on the environment when it was published over 40 years ago, in 1971. Oh, and I almost forgot, Lou Dobbs is a puckering asshole.

Hardly a week passes that some conservative Republican type doesn't get forced out of the closet in a very public and humiliating way. This week's homocon is Paul Babeau, a sheriff from Pinal County, Arizona. Currently running for the GOP nomination in Arizona's 4th congressional district, Babeau was outed by his former Mexican male boyfriend, Jose Orozco, after allegedly threatening to have him deported if he made their past relationship public. Babeau, who won a 2011 Sheriff of the Year Award, denied the deportation part but acknowledged he's gay and confirmed the relationship with Orozco. Then he immediately resigned as co-chair of Mitt Romney's 2012 Arizona presidential campaign committee - but not before people got robocalls featuring his voice. Check out Sherrif Paul and Jose.

Yeah, don't bother denying you're gay when there are photos of you like this on the Internet.

Sheriff Babeau's Adam4Adam profile. His screen name is "studboi1." He insists that he's "Str8 acting." You know, I do have empathy for the guy, but I also want to ask him, "How's that str8 acting thing working for you, studboi?

Two things make this story fascinating to me. First, despite the fact that Paul Babeau was duly sworn to enforce (and publicly defended) Arizona's broad and strict "show us your documents" immigration law, he was in a relationship with a Mexican man who is not an American citizen. You know, it's just hard for me to wrap my head around that. And second. Paul Babeau looks like a gay porn star. No, seriously, look at this photo of him...

Now look at the cover art for this gay porn video from Titan Media. And use your imagination. See?

And finally, my favorite music video of the week. (Okay, not exactly. My favorite music video of the week is "Don't Go" from electro-pop duo Pyramids, but it's embedded and I'm a blogger novice so I can't figure out how to post it except as a link for you to follow. So click here if you want to see it. It's an awfully charming bit of theatrical fun.) The alternative is this clip from Saint Etienne, the English group that's back after a long hiatus with "Tonight." If you hear echoes of recent Kylie Minogue, there's a reason - same producer (Richard X).

Weekly Rewind: Some Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-02-17T19:26:00.001-08:00

In case you missed the 54th Annual Grammy Awards last week, here are some highlights...

British singer Adele was the big winner, taking home six Grammys and tying the record held by Beyonce for awards won by a female artist in a single year. She was honored for Record of the Year ("Rolling in the Deep"), Album of the Year ("21"), Song of the Year ("Rolling in the Deep"), Best Pop Solo Performance ("Someone Like You"), Best Pop Vocal Album ("21") and Best Short Form Music Video ("Rolling in the Deep").

Adele describes "Rolling in the Deep" (the best-selling single of 2011 in the U.S.) as "a dark, blues-y gospel disco tune." I agree. Here's the video for it, in case you aren't one of the 236 million people who's already watched it on YouTube.

Who was named Best New Artist? That would be indie folk band Bon Iver, despite having already released an album and an EP in 2008 and 2009, respectively. They beat out The Band Perry, J. Cole, Nicki Minaj and Skrillex. Here's their video for "Calgary." Go ahead, just try to figure it out.

Is there some Grammy law that requires the Recording Academy to give Tony Bennett a freakin' award every time he's nominated? The man won his first Grammy in 1963 for "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." I have no complaint about that; terrific song and performance. But he's won sixteen more times. He won his seventeenth Grammy for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for his collaboration with Amy Winehouse, the troubled British singer/songwriter who succumbed to alcohol poisoning in July, 2011. Their duet on "Body and Soul" is fine... but is it Grammy-worthy? You decide.

There's always a more curious mix of fashion at the Grammys than any other awards show. This year was no exception.

I love me some Nicki Minaj. The rapper wore a silk Little Red Riding Hood-inspired number with a face embroidered on the skirt. It's by Versace, believe it or not. Her "date" is (some actor badly impersonating) the Pope. Some called it controversial. I call it camp. And after her Exorcist-inspired performance art piece on the show - deemed "disturbing" and "sacrilegious" - nobody was talking much about the dress anymore. See her so-bad-it's-good performance here.

Nicki Minaj and the Big Bad... Pope.

Swedish pop diva Robyn is another favorite of mine. But this outfit looks like a determined effort to get on somebody's - okay, everybody's - worst dressed list. I think she literally had access to a closet in hell. It's a man's t-shirt tucked into the the most unflattering skirt ever made. With a cape. This is the kind of thing that gets you kicked off Project Runway.

Robyn, prepared to stomp someone to death and fly away.

Katy Perry, pop princess. Lovely, elegant dress. The hair looks terrific up... but wait, why is it blue? Did a Smurf poop on her head?

Oh, so close to perfect, Katy. Never let a Smurf do your hair.

Fergie in orange lace and black underwear. You know, we'd probably all love this if Cher had worn it. In 1987.

Fergie, the Good Witch of Halloweentown, or something...

R.I.P. Whitney Houston. The pop music superstar died in a Beverly Hills hotel bathtub on February11th, the eve of the Grammys telecast. No foul play and no obvious signs of trauma, but prescription drugs were found in her room. She was 48, younger than Michael Jackson but older than Elvis Presley at the time of their deaths. Her career scaled the sublime heights of multi-platinum albums, hit movies (The Bodyguard, Waiting to Exhale) and a celebrated Super Bowl rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner." But the back half of her career was undermined by a rocky, abusive marriage and drug addiction. By 2005, she was reduced to appearing in her husband's reality TV show Being Bobby Brown, startling viewers with crude, erratic behavior and her jittery appearance. She subsequently divorced Brown in 2007, recorded a successful comeback album in 2009 and completed another film, Sparkle, before her death. I admired her voice, an awe-inspiring multi-octave instrument, but I was never a fan of her music. Still, I understood why, in her prime, she was the most popular female pop singer who ever lived, seducing listeners around the world. Her signature tune, an interpretation of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You," is a remarkable recording - from the opening 45 seconds of unaccompanied singing to the climactic 90 seconds of vocal pyrotechnics. Since it's release in 1992, it's become a staple at weddings; I even heard it at a memorial service once. In the wake of her death, I've heard and read some pretty stupid and cruel things about Ms. Houston and addiction, because that's what we do, I guess. So I invite you to ignore the idiotic posturing and conspiracy theories and just watch Houston's amazing performance of the national anthem at 1991's Super Bowl. It's a splendid convergence of youthful exuberance, confidence and talent.

Ever heard of CPAC? It's the Conservative Political Action Conference, held annually since 1973, and attended by conservative elected officials and political activists. They make speeches and honor people with the Ronald Reagan Award and the Defender of the Constitution Award and the Charlton Heston Courage Under Fire Award. No, I did not make up that last one. In 2010, they invited Glenn Beck - the irrational, emotionally unstable, conspiracy theorist and former Fox News host - to give the keynote address. So Sarah Palin is a natural fit. And CPAC is the perfect place for the former half-term governor and reality TV star to debut her two current passions, Obama-bashing and poetry.

Also appearing at CPAC, Andrew Breitbart, the author and right-wing blogger who's reporting has been discredited over and over again due to consistently deliberate, deceptive factual errors and unethical behavior. He's a shameless, incorregible, sociopathic liar and contemptible fraud. Last week, he confronted Occupy Wall Street protestors peacefully gathered outside the CPAC entrance in Washington, D.C. Video of the incident went viral. OWS may not be your thing, but Breitbart has been trashing the movement for months, characterizing it as a "threat to public safety," "Woodstock on violent and crazy steroids" and claiming its ranks are filled with deviants and sexual predators. Nobody's saying there aren't a few anarchists among the protestors, but who's the one losing his shit in this video? Who has to be restrained? And who appears to be the one on crazy steroids? Yeah, it's Breitbart.

Now for something completely different. Coming to a theater near you this summer, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, based on the best-selling mash-up novel by Seth Grahame-Smith (who also wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies). The movie is all about how the 16th President of the United States - the one who wrote the Gettsyburg Address and Emancipation Proclamation, freed the slaves and got shot in the head - had a cool secret identity as a vampire killer. Like Buffy. And the film will be released in 3D. Because, you know, why not?

And finally, here's the music video that held my attention last week, "Shotgun" from British post-punk revival singer Eugene McGuinness. Very good song brought to life with stylish art direction and spy-movie imagery. Hope this guy has a hit on his hands.

Weekly Rewind: Some Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-02-10T18:14:00.000-08:00

So Super Bowl XLVI aired on February 5th and was watched by a record-breaking 111.3 million people. In case you weren't one of them, the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots and Madonna headlined the halftime show (which, according to estimates, pulled in over 114 million viewers - a higher average than the game itself). It was full-on, fantastically staged Madonna, whipping through a medley of hits (sung or lip-synced, probably some of both) progressively surrounded by anachronistically-clad male warrior dancers, acrobats, Egyptian cheerleaders and a gospel choir including Cee Lo Green. In the middle of the familiar songs, she broke out her latest single, "Give Me All Your Luvin'," accompanied on stage by up and coming rappers Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., who provided guest vocals. Madonna is world-famous for provocative actions, Cee Lo Green recorded 2010's "Fuck You," and Nick Minaj is probably the most cheerfully vulgar woman to ever score a recording contract. So, it was a bit of a surprise that M.I.A. is the one who upstaged them all, stirring controversy by giving 114 million viewers the middle finger. As in, "Hey, did she just flip us off?"Yeah, she did (you can see it here). This is bound to get her into Guinness World Records, right?

Maybe M.I.A. is just pissed off because Madonna made her wear that ridiculous Egyptian S&M cheerleader outfit.

Truthfully, I've never understood what makes this an obscene gesture. I had this uncle from North Carolina who did it all the time. He used to give people the finger and say, "Sit on it, and rotate!" I heard that so many times it just lost its power.

But "flipping the bird" does have an interesting history, so check out this video for more.

Oh, by the way, here's the perversely sports-themed music video for Madonna's new single, "Give Me All Your Luvin'," featuring Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. The song has a distinctly '80s dance vibe that may (or may not) grow on you. It will probably feel like a half dozen other songs you've heard before until Nicki Minaj shows for a brief rap. The video is mostly notable for its cool, cartoony cinematography and the intriguing decision to surround Madonna with football players whose faces you never see and Japanese anime cheerleaders. Also, she survives a drive-by shooting.

Ellen DeGeneres, came out of the closet in the spring of 1997 at the height of her ABC sitcom's popularity. At the time, God-peddling huckster, um, TV evangelist Jerry Falwell immediately christened her "Ellen Degenerate." Classy. Her TV character came out, too, and the show's next and final season before cancellation was pretty much devoted to exploring the comical consequences of coming out as a thirtysomething woman. Ellen found life after cancellation, acting in films and returning to her roots as a stand-up comedian. In 2003, she launched The Ellen DeGeneres Show, a daytime hour of talk and fun. It has been wildly successful, embraced by viewers all over the country, winning a dozen Emmy awards and at least 10 People's Choice awards (which kind of implies that all kinds of people like her a lot). Companies and corporations tend to hire famous, beloved celebrities as spokespersons. JCPenney, the department store chain, recently hired Ellen. Then, One Million Moms (a division of the gay-hating American Family Association) got all pissy and demanded that she be fired, you know, because Ellen is a lesbian and JCPenney sells clothes and housewares, so the Moms are certain "shoppers will be offended." Except, not so much. The public has been overwhelmingly supportive and JCPenney issued a statement saying that they"share the same fundamental values as Ellen." The One Million Moms crusade failed. Miserably. Here's how America's most (arguably) famous lesbian responded to the controversy on her show last week.

Remember the Spider-Man trilogy with Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst? Of course you do - they made those movies in 2002, 2004 and 2007. A fourth installment with the same cast and director never materialized, but that didn't stop Columbia Pictures from rebooting the entire franchise again with a new cast, including Andrew Garfield (The Social Network), Emma Stone (The Help), Sally Field (as Aunt May!) and Denis Leary (as the same cranky turd he plays in everything because he possesses the range of a raisin). Here's the trailer for it. If you develop a sense of deja vu watching it, don't worry; it's because you've seen it all before. And will undoubtedly line up at the box office and pay to see it all again.

One of my Facebook friends recently posted this status update: I hate drag queens. Discuss. I don't hate drag queens. I've been both amused and inspired by them. However, I've known plenty of other gay men who are openly derisive and dismissive of them. So they probably won't appreciate this video at all, and that's a pity. Actor/writer/producer Drew Droege has developed a uniquely bizarre alternate persona, Chloe, based on actress, fashionista and '90s "it girl" Chloe Sevigny (American Psycho, Zodiac, Big Love). Droege's Chloe is a pretentious, self-satisfied, name-dropping goddess. And I love her. Here's Chloe's take on Valentine's Day. If you like this video, check out Chloe's YouTube channel here for more videos.

Occasionally, I enjoy country music - Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Garth Brooks, Dixie Chicks, k d lang's early stuff, even the youthful country crooning of Dolly Parton in her pre-pop crossover days. But most of what you hear on country radio stations today is formulaic tripe. Now along comes Canadian country singer Drake Jensen with his debut album, "On My Way to Finding You." And he's openly gay. The video for the title track of his album is dedicated to the memory of Jamie Hubley, a bullied gay Ottawa teenager who committed suicide after relentless taunting from peers over his devotion to figure skating. The video even features Jensen's real-life husband. The song itself is good, if not remarkable, but the video is rather quietly groundbreaking. If you ever wondered what those two guys from Brokeback Mountain might have done if things had gone a different way, this is total wish-fulfillment.

I'll finish up this edition of Weekly Rewind with the insanely goofy video for the song"Paddling Out," by a Swedish Indie electro-pop band called Miike Snow. Beware of shoes with supernatural powers, alien twins and makeovers.

Weekly Rewind: Some Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

When I was a little kid, my mother had her favorite daytime soaps. And I usually thought they were kind of lame. But she was absorbed in a couple of them, so much so that if one of her favorite characters got trapped in a fire or ended up staring at the barrel of a gun, she was so afraid of the outcome that she couldn't watch. So she sat me down in front of the TV and left the room, returning later for a full report. (Sometimes I actually made stuff up if I thought it would be more dramatic than what really happened.) Then along came a soap that grabbed my attention, Dark Shadows (1966-71), set in the fictional coastal town of Collinsport, Maine. It started out as a gothic bore, then fully embraced the supernatural - vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts, time travel and even a parallel universe. It's more or less regarded as camp today (thanks primarily to some hammy acting and low-budget special effects), and a prime time reboot flopped in 1991. Can this thing be successfully revived as a feature film? Enter director Tim Burton (Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland) and Johnny Depp, longtime fan of the series and one of the world's most versatile actors. As casting goes, Depp feels like a good fit for Barnabas Collins, the 18th century vampire who's accidentally freed from his tomb in 1972. I'm hoping this Burton/Depp collaboration is the right mix of spooky, quirky fun. Read more about the production here or here. And check out these photos of Depp as Barnabas Collins, with killer spit curls and nails.

Another, this time with lovely Michelle Pfeiffer (as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, family matriarch).

And the original Barnabas Collins, portrayed by Jonathan Frid.

Ammonium hydroxide - derisively known as "pink slime" - is a chemical substance made of ammonia and water. It kills bacteria and is most commonly found in household cleaning products and fertilizers, even dog food. Also, until recently, McDonald's hamburgers. See, McDonald's mixed the pink slime with inedible beef scraps (potentially full of stuff like salmonella and E. coli) in order to make them edible. But not in Europe and Canada, where it's not allowed - you actually have to use edible parts of the cow for hamburgers there. Last year, British TV chef Jamie Oliver exposed the practice on his short-lived Food Revolution series. Suddenly, the pressure was on McDonald's to explain. And basically, the answer was that the U.S. FDA deemed pink slime safe back in 1974, so leave us alone. After months of pressure, McDonald's issued a statement last week claiming, "This product has been out of our supply chain since August of last year," while simultaneously denying that Oliver's show had anything to do with that decision. Okay. But one last question: How are you making your burgers edible now?

Yep, they used to put this in your Big Mac.

If you weren't alive when it first aired, you probably saw reruns of Lost in Space (1965-68) on some cable channel. Set in the future (1997!), the premise was that the U.S wanted to colonize deep space, so NASA launched a saucer-shaped spacecraft named Jupiter II with a family on board, the Robinsons (father John, mother Maureen, daughters Judy and Penny, son Will), plus pilot Major Don West and a B-9, Class 3 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot. Oh, and secret foreign agent Dr. Zachary Smith, who snuck on board to sabotage the mission by programming the Robot to destroy critical systems, then took a nap and got trapped inside. Oops. Over the course of three seasons, Dr. Smith evolved from evil saboteur to flamboyant comic relief, becoming quite possibly the first homosexual stereotype in space. The Robot became a central character, displaying wildly absurd human characteristics and histrionics - plus developing a trio of catchphrases: Danger, Will Robinson!; Warning! Warning!; That does not compute. There was a man inside the robot shell (Bob May), but the dialogue was dubbed by prolific TV announcer and voice actor Dick Tufeld, who died recently at the age of 85. This compilation clip includes some of the Robot's best moments (and some of the show's worst).

Last November, Walt Disney Pictures released The Muppets. The film opened to positive reviews and was a modest commercial success at the U.S. box office. However, it got no love from Fox Business News host Eric Bolling and his guest shill-of-the-day Dan Gainor from the conservative Media Research Center. Nope, they both decided that since the film features an evil oil magnate character, then it has to be the indoctrination of young people into hating the oil industry and corporate America. Bolling asked Gainor if "liberal Hollywood is using class warfare to brainwash our kids" while one of Fox's typically fair and balanced lower third banners screamed, "ARE LIBERALS TRYING TO BRAINWASH YOUR KIDS AGAINST CAPITALISM?" You can see that clip here. Um, has there ever been a movie or TV series that made you love the oil industry? I'll wait. To appease conservatives, maybe the next movie could be about the Muppets freaking out when a clinic that provides abortions moves in next door to their theater and they scheme to shut it down. Or shoot the doctor. While you're waiting for that to never happen, check out this clip of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy addressing the controversy at a recent press conference for the UK premiere of the movie.

When Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum isn't busy hating gays and insisting it's "not a personal attack," he's pretty much obsessed with being anti-abortion and pro-life (except for that death penalty thing and war, of course). If you happen to be a woman, you know, like someone's wife or sister or daughter or mother, and you are raped and become pregnant, then Rick has a message for you: "make the best of a bad situation." And by that he means, have your rapist's baby. Because for Rick, who is a blindingly white man with a penis who will never get pregnant, your rape-baby is a "gift." From God. In Rick's head, God is apparently arranging rapes so that people like him will have the occasional opportunity to cheer up victims with wisdom like, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" The funny folks at Second City Network have met this position with appropriate mockery.

The 2 Bears, a London-based duo (Joe Goddard of the band Hot Chip and collaborator Raf Rundell), have the kind of sound I really dig - it's sort of urban, electronic rave-garage dance music. And with the plethora of generic female voices attached to dance tracks, it's refreshing to hear male voices in the mix. This video for "Work" has a low-pitched eloquence about it.

Hospitality, an Indie pop trio from Brooklyn, released a promising EP back in 2008. Their first full-length album is out now and the music has the feel of something crafted by a couple of friends hanging out in the bedroom or garage. But don't let the happy, shiny delivery fool you; there's a discernable undercurrent of melancholia in there, too. This video for "Friends of Friends" is charming, bittersweet and perfect for the tune.

Weekly Rewind: Some Stuff You MIght Have Missed

2012-01-27T21:45:00.000-08:00

I'm not ashamed to admit I was a huge Dynasty fan. Loved the absurd plots (Adam paints Jeff's office with the poisonous paint that's meant to kill barnacles on the hull of a boat!), bad acting (this show managed to make Rock Hudson and Diahann Carroll look like amateurs), cliffhangers (Moldavian Massacre, anyone?) and catfights (with pillows, in lily ponds and mud, or my favorite, Krystle in a knock-down-drag-out with her own evil lookalike). Yeah, yeah, everyone says Joan Collins stole the show as Alexis, but my favorite bitch from the series was always Stephanie Beacham as Sable (from The Colbys spin-off and the final season of Dynasty). So just for fun, here's the latest Snickers candy bar ad (from Britain), featuring both of them. And Stephanie looks amazing.

Ever heard of the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007? Congress passed it and President George Bush signed it into law. One section of the legislation specifically directs light bulb manufacturers to make incandescent bulbs considerably more energy efficient and phase them into the marketplace between 2012 and 2014. In essence, they've had five years to build a better light bulb. In fact, manufacturers embraced the legislation, agreeing that it it was time for bulbs to evolve and began introducing new ones to consumers well before 2012, enabling them to get feedback and tweak their products. Enter the conservative media and press, who seem to have forgotten Bush signed the law and would like you to believe Obama is coming for your light bulbs. The good folks at Media Matters for America set the record straight with this nifty little video (and it shines a light on the way Fox News flagrantly lies to its viewers, too).

Raised Southern Baptist, I was used to an emphasis on the Bible, but only the portions of it that were deemed relevant by my pastor or Sunday school teacher. When I was a freshman in college, I converted to Catholicism. In order to do so, I had to take catechism classes from a priest at a church near campus. There were a couple of things the priest told me that have always made sense. First, there's nothing wrong with masturbation; have at it. And second, it's not necessary for me to read the Bible since the Church will tell me everything I need to know. If I wanted to read the Bible, he warned, I should remember the good stuff about grace and forgiveness and Jesus, but the rest of it is not to be taken literally. So I read most of it anyway. And he was right. The Old Testament, especially, is a collection of crazy written by some folks in desperate need of antipsychotic meds. And an editor. The older I get the more obvious it is that the overwhelming majority of people who like to go on and on about biblical truths and good Christian values probably never read more than a tenth of it. This video, Shit the Bible Says, illustrates my point, gaily.

So, ABC recently replaced it's afternoon soap One Life to Live with The Revolution. It's another one of those schlocky health and lifestyle talk shows with a cheap-looking set and a team of celebrity hosts bantering with a couple of doctors - like Dr. Jennifer, who has to wear a white lab coat in every episode so you won't forget she's the one who earned a medical degree, and Dr. Tiffanie, who just does mental health so she gets a regular wardrobe but everyone still has to call her doctor so you won't forget she's a doctor. Two things... Isn't it silly to make the woman wear the white lab coat every day when you can simply put a font on the screen that identifies her as a doctor? And when did we all just decide that doctors don't need last names? Anyway, one of the celebrity hosts is dapper, openly gay Tim Gunn, the fashion consultant/mentor from Lifetime's reality show Project Runway. Love him. Big fan. And here's the big reveal: The man hasn't had sex with another person in 29 years. Watch him explain it in the short clip below. Now, it's not really all that uncommon for people to go many years without having sex. It happens, even to us gays, despite all those hateful, right-wing, psuedo-Christian terrorists trying to convince everyone how depraved and promiscuous we are. Celibacy is a choice, and Tim Gunn has made his. But I gotta tell ya, his explanation brought up a range of emotions in me. What about you?

Speaking of people who think all gay men are promiscuous, not to mention doomed and certainly undeserving of equality under the law ... here's a concerned citizen of Washington State testifying at a hearing against the passage of legislation that would legalize same-sex marriage there. The gist of his testimony is that gays shouldn't get married because of "the AIDS disease" (is it 1985 again?), and then he warns everybody that "the homosexual lifespan is a primary spread of a multitude of diseases." Uh huh, because, you know, heterosexuals never get diseases, sexually transmitted or otherwise. Okay, it's not like we haven't heard this kind of fallacious logic before, but what makes this particular video so astonishing is that the man isn't just ignorant, he's an overweight gorilla who breathes like someone with emphysema. He sounds like he's already had a stroke and he might even be experiencing a heart attack on the spot. Don't lecture me about "the AIDS disease," mister. I've had HIV for almost 19 years and I'm pretty sure I can kick your sickly ass and steal your jewelry.

Let's wrap up this edition with my two favorite new music videos of the week. First up, Nicki Minaj. She's back, working her psycho, foulmouthed, hip hop Barbie persona to perfection for "Stupid Hoe." You may hate the song - it's a bit gimmicky - but she's an incorrigible, magnetic vamp.

And finally, for something completely different... this delicious slice of chillwave pop from Porcelain Raft (AKA Mauro Remiddi) gets exactly the arcane video treatment it deserves. Enjoy!

Weekly Rewind: The Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-01-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

If anybody embodies the phrase "national treasure" these days, it's Emmy-winning actress Betty White. This extraordinary woman loves animals (more than people, she confessed to Barbara Walters) and the U.S. Forest Service even made her an honorary forest ranger in 2010. But she really lives to work. Her career has spanned seven decades, including 1940s radio ("Blondie," "The Great Gildersleeves") and a handful of films, like 1999's man-eating alligator monster movie, Lake Placid, and 2009's The Proposal, playing Ryan Reynolds' feisty Alaskan grandma. But she's most beloved for her television appearances - in everything - from game shows ("Password," "Match Game") to dramas ("The Practice"), dramedies ("Ally McBeal," "Boston Legal") and sitcoms ("The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "The Golden Girls," and most recently "Hot in Cleveland"). She celebrated her 90th birthday last week, so NBC threw her a... television special. And who better to wish this cultural icon a Happy Birthday than the President of the United States himself? (His tongue is planted in his cheek for this, exactly where it ought to be.)

In this short "Golden Girls" clip, Rose (Betty White) is upset that her precious childhood teddy bear has been mistakenly given away at a garage sale and ends up in the hands of an obnoxious little girl who is only willing to return it in exchange for cash. This is perhaps my favorite Rose moment of the series.

Satirist Stephen Colbert, the sly host/writer/executive producer of Comedy Central's mock-news show, "The Colbert Report," is behind this brilliant parody of negative political attack ads. Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is ostensibly the target here, but it's really a scathing denunciation of the Super PACs, those political action committees that are now legally allowed to raise unlimited amounts of money from a myriad of sources for the express purpose of advocating for or against political candidates. There are nearly 300 Super PACs in existence as of this writing and they have tons of money for truth-twisting and character assassination. If you thought there were a lot of political ads before, just wait. The genius of this parody is that it succeeds by just barely tweaking the rancid formula already employed for these ads. I can almost see a television station airing this without irony.

My favorite "Shit (fill in the blank with some kind of people) Say" video I ran across last week was Shit New Yorkers Say. This is for my bestest girlfriend, Terri W., a resident of NYC for over two years now. (And because you're going to want to know, Pat Kiernan is a local news anchor who specializes in deadpan humor. You're welcome.)

Restauranteur, cookbook author and Food Network host Paula Deen, a woman who never met a stick of butter she couldn't work into a recipe, has developed... wait for it... type 2 diabetes. Well, duh. This may actually be the least surprising news in history. But, based on the press coverage of this story last week, you might have conceivably been led to believe that Paula Deen herself is the leading cause of type 2 diabetes in the world. Yeah, no. It can happen to anyone who's overweight, inactive, older or has metabolic syndrome (a cluster of problems that includes, high cholesterol, high triglycerides and high blood pressure). Making the talk show rounds, Deen said the diagnosis really came three years ago, then revealed that she's the new paid pitchwoman for the diabetes drug Victoza. In other words, "Hey, ya'll, I'm sick, but I figured out a way to profit from it!" This kinda pisses me off because I'm still trying to figure out a way to get rich from having HIV. Anyway, Deen is now the celebrity people love to hate, unless, of course, they already hated her. I don't care what she does, even if she eats deep-fried infants on a stick, I will always hate Donald Trump more. See the announcement here, and for contrast check out this video from a few years back in which she proudly substitutes a glazed donut for a hamburger bun.

Wait, one more thing about Paula Deen. This is what she looks in real life:

And this is the chilling, unnatural, hyper-airbrushed-beyond-anything-recognizably-human way she always looks on the magazine covers by the check out at the grocery store. Why?

R.I.P. Etta James. Named one of the 100 Greatest Singers of All Time by Rolling Stone magazine... multiple Grammy winner... Rock and Rock Hall of Fame inductee. Simply put, the woman could sing anything - blues, R&B, rock and roll, soul, gospel or jazz. She was probably best known for the 1961 classic "At Last" - the song's deeply romantic lyrics and sweeping orchestration made it a staple at weddings, receptions and dances (but it also got used in too many mediocre romantic comedies). Her life was frequently chaotic - drug addiction, multiple trips to rehab, arrests - and she suffered from hepatitis C and dementia before ultimately succumbing to leukemia at the age of 73. But her music, simultaneously earthy and transcendent, remains. Check out one of her best, "A Sunday Kind of Love," below.

Okay, we need some humor after that. Let's play one degree of separation. Singer Beyonce portrayed Etta James in the 2008 film Cadillac Records. No, you never heard of it. Big flop. However, you probably know that Beyonce and her rapper husband Jay-Z just had a baby. What you didn't know is that the witch who granted Beyonce's wish for beauty and fame has come for her first born child. At least according to America's finest satirical news source, The Onion.

Weekly Rewind: The Stuff You Might Have Missed

2012-01-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

I love yoga. Been doing it for about 14 years. It's a spiritual discipline, not a religion. Yoga can improve muscle tone, lung function and flexibility... it relieves stress and even has cardiovascular benefits. So it's good for the mind, body and soul. Lots of fascinating people can be found at yoga studios and ashrams, like the dippy young woman in this video, whom I don't know but have met many times. Namaste.

Love your books? Still refusing to buy one of those Kindle or Nook e-Readers? This cleverly shot Toronto-made short video uses stop-motion animation to celebrate books and independent bookstores. The video encourages you to imagine what happens after a bookstore closes for the evening. Books dance, read one another and generally have a blast. It struck a chord with booksellers and lovers around the world.

The Internet can make anyone a star. Like this guy, a poet who has gotten over six million views on YouTube with his "I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" meme. Okay, I was raised Southern Baptist and converted to Catholicism in college. I know a little about religion, and Jesus. This thing doesn't hold up under scrutiny. As my wise friend Darrell G. reminded me, we would not have our historical knowledge of Jesus and his teachings if they had not been preserved in the Bible and our traditions - in other words, religion. I believe this poet is sincere (the serious music and dreary cinematography plus hip hop arm waving are a clue), but he's really just manipulating semantics, hoping to resonate with anyone who's ever been hurt by religious people. Frankly, if he'd written and performed a poem about how churches have essentially become political action committees that spend a lot of money and time swaying elections and demonizing the LGBT community and should thus lose their tax-exempt status forever, I'd probably want to shake his hand.

Last year, lots of people complained loudly and smugly that Lady Gaga's hit "Born This Way" sounded an awful lot like Madonna's late-80s hit "Express Yourself." The media was all over it, because, well, this is what passes for controversy in the United States today, not, you know, human beings being held indefinitely and tortured at that Guantanamo Bay detention and interrogation facility in Cuba. Last week, under the guise of news, ABC ran an interview with Madonna, claiming she was breaking her silence on the Gaga 'Born This Way' controversy. Hey, ABC! Ever heard of something called the Internet? Or research? Fact-checking? Both Madonna and Lady Gaga have already addressed this in interviews and public statements. Multiple times.

You can see the interview bit where Madonna calls Gaga's song "reductive"right here, then coyly suggests we all look up that word (hint: it's not really a compliment). Hey, Madonna! You're in your 50s now, girl. The ship has sailed on being coy or trying to impress us with your vocabulary. Also, you must have forgotten that your own "Express Yourself" is barely more than a distaff pop reworking of the 1971 R&B classic "Respect Yourself" by The Staple Singers. Since Gaga has acknowledged your influence on her, would you care to toss the Staples a bone?

Last week I told you that the Girl Scouts were celebrating their 100th year anniversary by introducing a new cookie, Savannah Smiles, to sell along with the Thin Mints and Samoas. Now, one California Girl Scout has posted a YouTube video asking everyone to boycott the cookies. Why? She's protesting the organization's decision to admit a 7-year-old transgender child (born with boy parts but identifies as a girl) to a troop in Colorado last fall. You can read an article about it here. Boycott Girl's video is here, but I can save you five minutes of watching her read something her parents obviously wrote for her by telling you that, essentially, she's against the boy parts and can't (or her parents won't let her) wrap her head around the transgender thing. So look, I know this is incomprehensible to people who need the world to be black and white, where everyone must check one box, male or female, based on what you find in your underwear. But ya gotta learn to roll with the complexities of life, because not everything you don't understand is bad. So here's a short clip by a former Girl Scout with his own perspective - transgender activist, educator and adult porn star Buck Angel.

It's a shame the New Jersey band Real Estate is still flying under the radar. Their shimmering pure melodies, terrific harmonies and sweet jangly guitars are maybe just a little too old fashioned, I guess. Hopefully, the new video for "Easy" will garner some deserved attention. It's just a day in the life of their promotional team, whose methods of getting people to hear or play Real Estate's music start out benign enough but quickly take a dark, twisty and hilarious turn.

Ever hear of the Doomsday Clock? Essentially it's a metaphor created by scientists back in 1947 as a method of symbolically warning the world about nuclear proliferation. We lost more time. Find out why.

And finally, did that whole Doomsday Clock business make you think it's time to get religion? Are you confused about your spiritual path? This handy flowchart shows you how to choose the religion that's right for you!

Weekly Rewind: News, Music, Politics & Humor You MIght Have Missed

2012-01-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

Did you know the Girls Scouts are celebrating a 100 years? Did you know that with $700 million in cookie sales, it's the nation's largest female-directed enterprise? Did you know they're introducing a new cookie this year? It's called Savannah Smiles and the New York Daily News says the "lemon-flavored, powdered sugar dusted confection will symbolize the organization's 100th year in service and sweetness." The Thin Mint and and Samoa will be surprised to hear that.

The Archie comics of my youth got a significant makeover in 2010. The classic characters of Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica and the rest of the Riverdale High School gang aged a few years, becoming young adults. At the time, Archie Comics CEO Jonathan Goldwater (whose own father created the series in 1941) said, "we ran a risk, unless we reflect what's going on with kids today in the real world, of becoming irrelevant." Enter the first gay character, Kevin Keller. There was controversy but strong sales. Released last week, Issue #16 prominently features Kevin, now a soldier injured in Iraq who meets an African-American doctor while recuperating in the hospital. And then they get married. Same sex married. To each other. (I always thought it would be Archie and Jughead; the sexual tension between those two is palpable.)

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/archie-comics-gay-wedding-kevin-keller-278787

Kristy McNichol. She co-starred in the '70 TV drama "Family," (winning two Emmys for Best Supporting Actress) and the late '80s sitcom "Empty Nest" - but departed that series after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. You might also remember her from the summer camp film, Little Darlings (co-starring Tatum O'Neal), where she loses her on-screen virginity to Matt Dillon. Last week, in a gesture of solidarity with bullied gay and lesbian teens, she came out. It's a welcome revelation, if not necessarily a surprise.

http://www.towleroad.com/2012/01/kristy-mcnichol-im-a-lesbian.html

That "Shit My Dad Says" twitter guy has created a monster. Now there's a video or blog for the shit just about anyone says. Here's one that chronicles the shit southern gay guys say. And it's pretty darn accurate, right down to the religious asides and "Designing Women" references. Personal favorite: "I'm not dating anybody who dips. I'm just... not... doing it."

After a poor (okay, dismal) showing in the Iowa caucus, Michele Bachmann dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. In her rambling concession speech she conceded that it's apparently not God's plan for her to be president. Apparently, God's plan for Michele has something to do with remaining obliviously married to a man who sets off my gaydar faster than a pocketful of change in an airport scanner. In this video, she reports that husband Marcus was out buying doggie sunglasses for their pooch on the day before the caucus. The fact that she sounds like this would be a perfectly natural thing for a a sixtyish heterosexual male to do is... queer. But the look on his face when she says it is priceless. Also, how on Earth did this man father five (!) children with this woman???

Are you sitting down? Van Halen is reuniting with David Lee Roth for an album and tour. Roth hasn't recorded with the band since 1984, when he left for solo projects and was replaced with Sammy Haggar. No Haggar this time. And no Mike Anthony, the original bassist, who got booted in 2006 and was replaced with Eddie Van Halen's son, Wolfgang, and... oh, who cares... who even wanted this?

Sometimes I love the idea of the Scissor Sisters more than I love their music. They're capable of brilliance ("I Don't Feel Like Dancin'," for instance), but they don't always live up to my (admittedly sky-high) expectations. Their latest release, "Shady Love," is a delirious mash up of styles sublimely executed. The video is so awkwardly oddball that I love them all over again. (PS - The kid who shows up at 4:11 can dance.)

Best Music Videos, 2011: My Top Dozen of the Year

2012-01-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

There was a lot of great music in 2011 - in every genre. Though typically, when it came down to producing music videos, there were plenty of perfunctory, uninspired clips that failed to complement or elevate the song in question. But then there were the exceptions; creative collaborations that beautifully captured the essence of a song, raised an artist to new heights or surprised and mesmerized the hell out of you. Sure, it's all subjective, but here are the dozen I could watch over and over again.

"Hawaiian Air" by Friendly Fires. I love these guys. I love their sound - a fresh English dance/pop/tribal melange that works. The video should resonate with anyone who's ever just wanted to get away to some sunny destination... and had to endure a long airline flight to get there.

"Treading Water" by Alex Clare. This rather handsome British singer-songwriter has a very fine voice. The video is a clever visual representation of the emotions of a break up and how it can sometimes make you feel like you're drowning.

"Add Ends" by When Saints Go Machine. There were a lot of videos about death in 2011. A lot. This quirky Danish electro-pop band delivers a surrealistic little film that matches the dramatic, haunting arrangement and lyrics of the song.

"Countdown" by Beyonce. I'm generally indifferent about Beyonce's music. This particular song, however, is a terrific mix of styles, executed with verve. The video is a cool fashion show accentuated by splendid choreography. And if you're familiar with legendary beauty and actress Audrey Hepburn, you can't help but notice the wardrobe/hairstyle homage. I'm not sure if Beyonce realizes how impossibly gorgeous she is, but the people who dressed her for this video surely do.

"Calamity Song" by The Decemberists. I confess I was never a fan of this band before 2011. I'm finally on board. The song itself reminds me of early, great R.E.M. The video is based on a scene from Infinite Jest - a novel by David Foster Wallace - about a global thermonuclear crisis re-created on a tennis court. An inspired idea, executed with pitch black irreverence.

"Fish" by Wye Oak. The Baltimore duo comprising Wye Oak recruited some hometown artists to create this visually arresting video. It's a meticulously crafted shadow puppet show with amazing lighting and cinematography. Nothing else like it all year.

"Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj. She started out as the special sauce on a lot of other people's records, then came her blistering 2010 debut album. Everything about this video is garishly over the top, including Ms. Minaj herself, who embodies the most cheerfully vulgar and demented Barbie doll of all time.

"Simple Math" by Manchester Orchestra. An indie band from Atlanta! They hit a home run with this vibrant and gripping video. Compelling narrative, excellent cinematography and effects. Might even make you choke up.

"Mein Land" by Rammstein. A German industrial metal band... with a sense of humor to go along with their love of pyrotechnics. They've given us a wickedly hilarious send-up of 1960s beach movies (and they even manage to poke fun at the Beach Boys and "Baywatch" in the process.) It's awesome.

"Is Tropical" by The Greeks. Just jawdroppingly wrong. Extreme cartoon violence with kids. And animation. It's like if Quentin Tarantino directed a video for the Disney Channel. In a parallel universe. Your mom would not approve... but honestly, how many of us have passed countless childhood hours pretend-shooting our friends?

"Together" by Pet Shop Boys. Pet Shop Boys often write songs about love, just not love songs. This is a pretty unabashed love song, lacking the brilliant complexity of their best music. However, the video will likely be irresistible to anyone who loves dancing. And beautiful young people. Or beautiful young people dancing. Show me someone who's not charmed by this thing and I'll show you someone in desperate need of an enema.

"Go Outside" by Cults. One of the best songs of 2011 got an extraordinary video treatment. In the late 1970s, infamous religious cult leader Jim Jones led over 900 men, women and children to their deaths ("revolutionary suicide") by cyanide poisoning at his Peoples Temple intentional community in Guyana. The video uses a combination of news reports and home movies, visual effects and other tricks to embed the band into the historical footage. You can't help but get an eerie vibe from the combination of real footage and the hauntingly beautiful music, but it never feels exploitative. (Survivors of the massacre screened the video before its public release and praised it for celebrating the lives of People Temple members and not exploiting the tragedy.)

Best Music Videos, 2011: My Top 10 Honorable Mentions

2011-12-26T18:40:00.000-08:00

"Hey Mama" by Mat Kearney. This Nashville-based singer-songwriter wrote a nice song about his wife. Darkhearted cynics beware; it's a feelgood video. In black and white. Seriously, it's such a cheerful romp, you expect the damn thing to burst into technicolor any second. Oh, and he's HOT.

"Every Minute Alone." WhoMadeWho. Men are crying. No, weeping. About something. You'll be tempted to click away. Don't do it. I promise you'll be laughing at them before the end of this clever little video by a terrific, but unknown (in the U.S, at least) Scandinavian band.

"Romance" by Wild Flag. These indie rockers deliver the goods; a bold, raw sound and a kick ass song with a killer hook. The video didn't need to be anything more than pure, goofy fun. The world would be a more interesting place if people wore masks for something other than Halloween.

"Don't Turn the Lights On" by Chromeo. The wistfulness (yeah, it's there between synthesizers) of this electrofunk duo's song is complemented by the corny sight gags of the video. It's hard not to be charmed.

"Put Me to Sleep" by Porcelain Raft. The sexy guy behind Porcelain Raft is Mauro Remiddi. What happens when you put a fully-clothed sexy guy in a tub of weird milky water and then shoot an entire three-minute video of him thrashing about? He'll be wet, but he'll still be sexy.

"Save the World" by Swedish House Mafia. They are Axwell, Steve Angello and Sebastian Ingrosso. They are Swedish. And apparently they believe dogs will save the world. Did anyone ever think it would be cats?

"Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn. Another Swede makes the list. Robyn's lack of popularity in the U.S. is dumbfounding. She makes great music. The video is a stunning one-take wonder. Watch this woman own the room.

"The Muppet Show Theme Song" by OK Go & The Muppets. The members of OK Go have never been afraid to have fun and look a little silly in their videos. They are, perhaps, the perfect choice to cover the old Muppets theme and assist in their comeback. The collaboration is colorful chaos.

"Born This Way." A Lady Gaga lipdub. A UK Facebook buddy of mine put this together for his YouTube channel. Lady Gaga's video for the song is another overproduced behemoth. This one distills it all down to pure retro joy.

"Don't Play No Games That I Can't Win" by Beastie Boys. These guys came back in a big way in 2011. A great new album and a couple a of excellent videos. This one features gunfights, explosions and zombies. It's all done with... dolls. Directed by Spike Jonze, it's a wee bit on the long side at eleven minutes, but still kinda brilliant anyway.

My dozen favorite videos of the year are coming up in the next post. Stay tuned...

Music Videos, 2011: The Not So Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2011-12-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

"Secret Love" by Stevie Nicks. Frankly,it might have been a nice surprise if Ms. Nicks had recorded a cover of the oldDoris Day chestnut, "Secret Love." That would have been unexpectedand potentially awesome. But, no. This is an original composition from herFleetwood Mac heyday that never made it onto an album before. Her iconic voice remainsremarkable; the song and video, not so much. Look, Stevie, you're in your 60snow. No one's saying you can't have fun, but the twirly-skirt gypsy nymph thingthat worked for you in the 1970s and '80s looks a little silly now.

"Walk" by Foo Fighters. Their feistypunk-pop sound remains intact. This video issome kind of homage to the movie, "Falling Down," in which a dourMichael Douglas goes on a violent rampage in Los Angeles while having a mentalcollapse. Dave Grohl and his fellow Foos try to have some fun withthis. But the problem is that they think they're funny. And they're not. Thetone is all over the place. It's not a good sign when a six-year-old givesGrohl the finger and your reaction is "Yeah!" Serious misfirefrom a band that gave us one of the greatest music videos of all time with"Learn to Fly."

"Satisfied" by Tom Waits. Terrific singer-songwriter, composer and Oscar nominee (One From the Heart soundtrack), and actor (Bram Stoker's Dracula). His distinctive voice is a gravelly growl. He's unconventional. His artistry cannot be denied. But his music videos can most politely be described as... curious. This one is no exception. The director may successfully convince you that Mr. Waits is a crazy, drunken homeless man who wandered into the alley behind some houses one night and decided to put on a vaudeville show for the neighborhood cats.

"The King That Never Was" by AlternateReality. A metal band from Cleveland. The video features about 20Medieval-costumed actors, a castle, horses, swords, and a prologue about KingArthur, Sir Lancelot and Merlin. It may occur to you that they can't possiblybe serious. But there's not a single indication that anyone's tongue is plantedin their cheek. No, they actually wrote a head-banging metal ode to King Arthurand made an embarrassing, badly acted Renaissance Festival play to go with it.The castle even catches fire, apparently as a result of the CGI sparks flyingoff the guitars and swords. I could almost learn to love this one ironically. Almost.

"I Wanna Go" by Britney Spears. Her fameis a complete mystery to me. Like the pyramids. "I Wanna Go" isbarely even a song; it's an experiment in auto-tuning. The Black Eyed Peaswould have passed on recording it. The video itself feels like an afterthought.The idea? Britney is annoyed by the press and paparazzi, some of whom areapparently bionic. It's cheesy and stupid, from the wisps of pink hair andMickey Mouse halter to the unappetizing use of milk and lame "Thriller" homage and the end. But you do get your fair share of navel and breastshots, plus gratuitous come hither stares, the kind of thing that usually distracts15-year-old heterosexual boys of all ages.

"Big Bad Wolf" by Duck Sauce. ThisAmerican-Canadian duo make disco house tracks in which the same couple of wordsare chanted repeatedly over a relentless beat. You know, the kind of stuff ameth addict loves at 3 a.m. on a dance floor in hell. Anyway, we've allheard the joke about how men think with the head between their legs instead ofthe one between their shoulders. This video takes that concept to it's mostliteral, graphically gross extreme. Listen, I'm old. I've seeneverything. It's not easy to get an OMG out of me. You've been warned.

Myfavorite videos of 2011 are up next. Ten honorable mentions, then my picks forthe dozen best of the year.