Friday, June 1, 2012

Ain't No Homo Gonna Make it to Heaven, Among Other Things

Eurovision Song Contest 2012 Winner. Forty-two countries participated in the competition this year, held in Baku, Azerbaijan. I'll spare you the complexities of the positional voting system and just tell you that Loreen, representing Sweden, received the most votes for her interpretation of "Euphoria." A 2004 runner-up from Sweden's version of American Idol (called simply Idol), Loreen had released only a handful of singles prior to her participation in the competition, including "My Heart Is Refusing Me" -- unreleased in the U.S.

The exotically gorgeous Loreen is a Stockholm, Sweden native of Moroccan-Berber descent. She's got a terrific voice, bringing an unexpected gravitas to "Euphoria," an infectious dance tune that's destined to be a huge club hit. Here's her Eurovision Grand Final performance, in which she successfully overcomes a number of obstacles, including murky lighting, a wind machine and her own hair, all while dancing like a robot ballerina. In other words, I love her.

I became aware of the 57-year-old Eurovision Song Contest in 1974 when ABBA came out on top with "Waterloo." Now viewed by over 100 million people each year, the competition has been hailed as a captivating mix of youthful exuberance, questionable taste and kitsch that allows Europeans to forget their differences (and economic worries) for a while. The winner is selected by juries and television viewers across the European continent. Incidentally, this year's runner up was Buranovskiye Babushki, a sextet of Russian grandmothers who scored with a folksy dance number called "Party for Everybody." If that doesn't melt your Cold War heart, nothing will.

For a recap of all the songs performed at the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final, go here. I promise it's worth 6:47 of your time. My favorites are #3, 6, 8, 14, 18, 21 and 23, though not necessarily because of the song or the singing.

Ain't No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven. Someone at the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, Indiana thought it would be a delightful idea to teach a 4-year-old a little song to sing for the congregation. It goes like this...

I know the Bible's right, somebody's wrong
I know the Bible's right, somebody's wrong
Romans 1 and 27
Ain't no homo gonna make it to heaven

See for yourself...

I guess it never occurred to them to teach the kid "Jesus Loves Me." This little boy doesn't even know what he's singing. I doubt he could find Romans in the Bible, let alone read it and make sense of it. A parent taught him this, maybe even the one you hear whooping "That's my boy!" in the video. You know how religious people are always saying that homosexuals recruit and indoctrinate children? It's not only a myth, it's projection. All you have to do is look at this video for conclusive evidence of who's doing the recruiting and the indoctrinating.

After this video went viral, church members claimed publicly that Pastor Jeff Sangl received death threats. Sangl put the church on "lockdown" and fled to an undisclosed location with his wife. I do not condone threats of any kind against this pastor or his congregation. But the problem with the story is that multiple sources -- including Fox News! -- are reporting that the sheriff of the county where the church is located has not seen or heard any evidence of death threats.

My Favorite Music Video(s) of the Week. That "Ain't No Homo" business aside, it was an outstanding week for music videos. Here are the ones that made the biggest impression on me.

First up, Scissor Sisters and "Baby Come Home." Their latest album is the adventurous Magic Hour. Videos for two songs have already been released, but this one features the band at its sexy, puckish best. Fetish alert: Babydaddy in a sailor suit. Yum.

I like Aussie singer Kylie Minogue. She's makes smashing dance/pop singles. Gay singer/songwriter Rufus Wainwright once said of her, "She is the gay shorthand for joy." Agreed. Here's the video for "Timebomb," which has been released in commemoration of her 25th year in pop music. She just turned 44, though you might not guess that from this clip of her strutting along the busy streets of London's SoHo neighborhood in a pair of hot pants.

Now for something completely different... here's Brooklyn rapper El-P with "The Full Retard." If the title alone doesn't offend you, I guarantee something in the clip will. Here we have El-P teaming up with a squirrel puppet. There's a crime spree. And debauchery. Yeah, the puppet goes to some dark, fucked up places. It's a bangin' song and a hilarious video (once you accept it as a parody of a million bad rap videos and terrible badass movies), but it's totally NSFW (not safe for work). Seriously.

Okay, one more. Here's three minutes of sensational Swedish electro-dance-pop that will make you forget all about the demented, murderous, heroin addicted squirrel puppet in the video above. This is Icona Pop, a female duo from Sweden, with their bouncy clip for the bratty, bombastic single "I Love It." I loved it.

Peace out,

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